Your kids might think you’re great, but if you’re like most mothers, you think you could do more. Well, guess what? Of course you can!

But being a better mom is not about what you give your children, it has to do with how you connect with them, and even more amazing, how you treat yourself.

Some parenting experts like you and me, offer some suggestions that I present here today, give them a try and tell me how the relationship with your children becomes stronger and closer every day.

Be the manager, be the boss 

Mom the boss

Mom in charge

It may sound a bit loud, some parents recognize that their parents were very strict with them and the last thing they want is to mistreat their children, and that’s good. We’re not talking about mistreatment but rather the fact that our children need a figure of authority, need to learn rules of coexistence and be formed. Remember that it is in childhood when they acquire the majority of knowledge and customs in their life.

It is important to know who sends the person, put some rules and make sure they are met. Be flexible but do not break the rules by pressure from small or with the excuse of “are still”, many parents leave aside authority because they want to still be friends of their children, and that’s fine, but if you do not instruct them, someone else will be the voice of influence in their lives, like their “other” friends for example.

Speak pleasant things to their ear

Mom talking to child

Mom talking to child

It is important that as parents we are the first to say nice things to our children, words of encouragement, love phrases, things as simple as: “You are my champion or champion” or “You are beautiful or handsome, these small details will help them build their self-esteem, know that there is someone who believes in them and loves them, no matter how old they are. And if you constantly repeat things pleasing to your children, your emotional health will also grow.

Some people have mentioned that those “little tips or love words” they heard from their parents have resonated in their minds for years and have been pillars to stay strong during adverse situations.

Talk to them when you put them to sleep, encouraging them to believe they are capable and intelligent.

Enjoy your adult life.

What?!  Was it not about being a better mom? Of course, but no matter how frenzied life gets, take time to relax one night with your friends, enjoy brief moments for yourself and see how you will recharge your energy to continue in your beautiful work as a mother.

A stressed mother will not always reflect the love, affection and understanding that children need, but a mom who is no longer tense, enjoys her life, and will undoubtedly appreciate even more the time spent with her children.

Confide in yourself.

Being a mom for the first time is not easy, but as inexperienced as you think you are, something that is healthy for your life is to believe in yourself, stop worrying about what kind of mom were your mother and your grandmother.  You have your own style of raising your children, believe in that, of course you can ask other mothers, but if you think something is right for you dear, believe in yourself.

Remember that we are the first role of influence over them, a mother unsure of herself may not be the best example that a child receives.

Let your child make a few mistakes

Child falls off the bike

Allow him to fall

Get off the bike, get a low grade in school, all these are opportunities for learning.

If you rush to fix things right away or you think everything should turn out right the first time, indirectly you are telling your children that trying is not enough and that they should always be all perfect.

The best lesson you can teach him: “Keep trying no matter what the failures.”

Seek perfection on the first try and bother yourself if it fails, it may lead to your children hiding things from you in the future, remind them to first give themselves baby steps to then run, if you have children that always work well in school, congratulate them, rejoice with them and teach them to go forward but do not pressure them to always be the best, excellence is achieved only when you give rise to mistakes a couple of times. Fail in the attempt is not the end of the world, you get up and You keep trying until you get it. (This applies to us too)

Tell them NO from time to time .

Mom and daughter

It makes you a better mom, by telling them no to the whims that children might have. You will be teaching them how to deal with disappointments and to understand that you can not always have everything you want and that things are not always as one says , this will help them in the future, believe me, nobody wants a capricious boss, or an employee who complains about everything.

and finally…

Be attentive and listen to what they do NOT tell you .

Pay attention to what they tell you, show them that you are willing to listen uninterruptedly, have time aside and do not let your mind wander into other things as you talk to them.

On the other hand, an old Jewish saying says, “A mother understands what her son does not tell her” , children often enclose their feelings, if you ask them if something happens to them, they will usually tell you that “nothing”, your job is make way between your emotions. Start a dialogue, get to your feelings – do not force it.

Children listen, even if you do not believe it, and it is also our duty to listen and share with them.

There’s a lot to say about being better every day, you know it’s not easy, but come on, put on some nice music, smile, go back to being a girl again. Focus on what you have and not on how your life could be. Admit that sometimes we make mistakes as mothers, but do not punish your whole life for it, go ahead, accept that each child is unique and that your child does not have to be like the neighbor or the other family.

It is likely that your children believe that you are the best, that you are great, but I assure you that if you follow these tips, you can do even more and your children will have a better mom! 

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Updated: October 18, 2017 — 6:23 pm

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