Last night, while eating in a restaurant, just a table away, I noticed a mum with her 2 boys of ages about 5 and 3year old .There was no way I could avoid noticing them, because the woman’s youngest child was displaying a typical toddler scene.
Oh! he screams and revolts, scattering the cake and ice-cream his mom bought for him all over the floor making it look like the aftermath of a crime scene.” Wait your dad must hear about this,” the angry mom said with a stern look at her obstinate child. I could relate with the woman because I’ve been there, likewise most mothers. That scene being in the public makes it more uncomfortable. Mothers can relate to this scene and that mystification state of not knowing what to do to stop it. Still, every mom will want to crawl to the ball and say to the world, “I’ve got good kid!
The mom in the restaurant in anger threatened her child with the only weapon she had left: “The dad threat” immediately, just like magic, the kid bursted out with a loud cry and begging his mom not to rat him out to his dad “the executor”. As from that moment the young chap behaved. Mom finally found out, that one thing to get her kid to tow the line – The back up and troops she brought in, helped.
As I sat there thinking, “why must we mom even bring in an executor, why can’t we be the one enforcing!” Although I understood the woman, because I’ve been there myself and I bet most mom too. I’ve also been at my wit’s end with my boys and I will wish someone else could bail me out with a behavior remedy. Whatever I try doing clearly won’t work. And because I have nothing else on my arsenal, I surrender the dad threat — and my kids immediately, calms down. But instead of feeling like I’d scored a Pass on parenting victory, I feel defeated and cross for selling myself out. And I vowed never to bring in daddy the executor again.
See! Mothers, when we use the daddy threat on our kids, we only send a defeating signal of how weak we are. We make them think that our word isn’t the final word. We only make them believe dad is the boss and mommy is just filling in until he gets home. We make dad more powerful than mom simply because we don’t know what else to say. And with each, “I’m going to call Daddy!” or “Wait when Dad returns,” our kids learn that mom’s word isn’t valuable. And with that they learn that mom isn’t as strong as dad.
Moms, the truth is that we don’t need to call in back ups. There is no one more powerful than mom, we don’t need to threaten our kids with dad. Even though, We might not always have the answers, but our kids don’t need to know that. They only need to know that mom is just as stern as daddy, because truly she is!..
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