We all want to be “good moms.” We listen to advice and experiences of other moms, groups of friends, courses and therapies.
Normally to all this, the message that remains to us is to follow our “maternal instinct” when it comes to educating our children. I say “maternal instinct” because only we Mom know our children in such a way that we know what they like and what they do not like, what they prefer to do; we anticipate certain attitudes, their limits and their scope.
In all this I started thinking last week after a meeting between moms of “Allroundmom”. Many of them began to tell us how “advanced” they saw their children, one mom said her baby had already left the diaper and the other did not. The other Mom complained about how one of his son now knew how to ride a bicycle without a wheel, and the other did not; Another said that her daughter already spoke many words and the other just spelled sentences. In short, the competition between always seeing who is doing what first is infinite. There is an information pump very accessible for all where we can find everything about anything. But really, what does a child need to know at age 4?
Within my usual readings, I found this list that came to me “as a ring finger” of Alicia Bayer, a woman like you or me who is very interested in the issues of childhood and education. Here I share it with you. Do not stop reading it until the end, because something very important about more than the children, that we must know as parents.
Remember that in educating and raising our children there is no competition to win or lose. Let us live with them in their moment and space.
What does a child need to know at the age of 4?
1. He must know that you love him completely, unconditionally and at all times.
2. He must know that he is safe with you being around even in public with other people and in different situations. He must know that he has to trust his instinct always.
3. He should know how to laugh and use his imagination. And know also that nothing ever happens by painting the sky orange or drawing cats with six legs.
4. He must know that the world is magical and so is he. He must know that he is fantastic, smart, creative, compassionate and wonderful. He should know that spending the day outdoors doing flower collars, earthenware cakes, and fairy-tale houses is as important as learning numbers
But more important what parents should know:
1. That each child learns to walk, speak, read and do calculate at his or her own pace, and that this does not influence how well he walks, talks, reads or calculates afterwards.
2. That the most influential factor in good academic performance and good grades in the future are not manuals, elegant day-care centers or expensive toys, but that mom or dad spend a little time each day or night (or both) to share moments of playtime, reading, drawings and laughing with their children.
3. Being the smartest or most studious child in the class are never the happiest. We are so obsessed with trying to give our children all the “advantages” by what we are giving them and thereby making our lives as busy and filled with tension. One of the best things we can offer our children is a simple and carefree childhood.
4. That our children deserve to live surrounded by books, nature, artistic utensils and, most important, freedom to explore them., We should surround them with some important creative toys like LEGO and Encastre, a good amount of tempers and plasticines, musical instruments, costumes, books and more books. They need freedom to explore with these and other things, to knead bread and put everything in one place, to use paint, plasticine and glitter on the kitchen table while we make dinner even if everything will splash. To have a corner in the garden where they can tear the grass and make a drawer of clay.
5. That our children need us more. We have learned so well that we need to take care of ourselves and some of us use that as an excuse for others to take care of our children. Of course we all need time for a calm bath, to see friends, a time to clear our heads and, occasionally, some life apart from the children. But we live in a time when parents’ magazines recommend that we try to spend 10 minutes a day for each child and provide for a Saturday a month dedicated to the family. How awful! When our children need the video game console, computers, extracurricular activities, ballet classes, soccer and English, much more than they need us. They need some parents who will sit down to listen to their story, of what they have done during the day.
They need us to take walks with them on spring nights, no matter if the little one goes at 150 meters per hour. They have the right to help us make dinner even if it will take us to work double due to mess they may make. They have the right to know that for us they are a priority and we really love being with them.
Lets put our presence now they are young so we remain present in their life when they are all grown.
I know you will have more tips please kindly share your opinion in our comment box.